Apple Crumble


JACKSON: You are not permitted to leave your station during a sitting.
ROSE: I was just talking to this teacher.
DOCTOR: Hello.
ROSE: He doesn’t like the chips.
JACKSON: The menu has been specifically designed by the headmaster to improve concentration and performance. Now, get back to work.
ROSE: See? This is me. Dinner lady.
DOCTOR: I’ll have the crumble.
ROSE: I’m so going to kill you.


Apple Crumble

5 apples
1 cup water
2 teaspoons coconut sugar
1 weetbix
2 tablespoons shredded coconut
½ teaspoon cinnamon
1/3 cup oats
1 teaspoon coconut sugar
2 tablespoons coconut oil

Peel and core the apples.
Stew the apples with the water and 2 teaspoons coconut sugar.
In a bowl crush the weetbix and mix together with the coconut, cinnamon, oats, sugar, and oil.
Place the stewed apple into 2 ramekins and top with the weetbix mixture.
Place in preheated 180C oven until the top is crisp, golden, and crumbly 🙂


Impossible Green Pesto


SCOOTI: Help yourself. Just don’t have the green. Or the blue.
ROSE: Er, bit of that, thanks.
OOD: Would you like sauce with that?
ROSE: I’ll have a go, yeah. I did that job once. I was a, a dinner lady. Not that I’m calling you a lady. Although, I don’t know, you might be. Do you actually get paid, though? Do they give you money?
OOD: The Beast and his Armies shall rise from the Pit to make war against God.
ROSE: I’m sorry?
OOD: Apologies. I said, I hope you enjoy your meal.
ROSE: Yeah.


Vietnamese Mint & Peanut Pesto

1 loose packed cup of vietnamese mint
1/3 cup olive oil
1 cup roasted peanuts
1 heaped teaspoon minced garlic
¼ cup savoury yeast flakes
40ml water (if needed)

Place all ingredients to a food processor and pulse to create pesto consistency.
(If the mixture is to dry to blend add water)


Dalek (Garlic) Bread


DOCTOR: The metal’s just battle armour. The real Dalek creature’s inside.
VAN STATTEN: What does it look like?
DOCTOR: A nightmare. It’s a mutation. The Dalek race was genetically engineered. Every single emotion was removed except hate.
VAN STATTEN: Genetically engineered. By whom?
DOCTOR: By a genius, Van Statten. By a man who was king of his own little world. You’d like him.


Dalek (Garlic) Bread

1 cup flour
1 teaspoon dry yeast
Pinch salt
¼ teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon olive oil
160ml warm water
vegan margarine
crushed/minced garlic
chopped fresh parsley

To make the dough, sift the flour into a large bowl
Add the remaining ingredients and mix with a wooden spoon until the dough resembles a wet ball (The dough will be wet and sticky).
Place the dough on a floured surface and knead for five minutes until smooth.
Place the dough into a bowl and cover with lightly greased cling film.
Leave the dough in a warm place for about 30 minutes.
Roll out the dough on a lightly floured surface to form a thin rectangle shape.
Spread the vegan margarine, garlic, and parsley evenly and quite thickly over the dough.
Starting from the edge roll on side of the dough into a scroll to the middle.
Do the same to the other side so that you end up with two circular scroll tubes together.
Glaze the top with olive oil and optionally sprinkle with garlic powder.
Bake in preheated 180C oven until golden and crisp.
Slice to serve.


Green Pineapple Nuclear Jelly


DOCTOR: So, you’re a Slitheen, you’re on Earth, you’re trapped. Your family get killed but you teleport out just in the nick of time. You have no means of escape. What do you do? You build a nuclear power station. But what for?
MARGARET: A philanthropic gesture. I’ve learnt the error of my ways.
DOCTOR: And it just so happens to be right on top of the rift.
MARGARET: What rift would that be?
JACK: A rift in space and time. If this power station went into meltdown, the entire planet would go (suck boom)!


Nuclear Jelly

1 packet vegan jelly
1 can of pineapple slices

Prepare the jelly as per packet instructions.
Remove the pineapple juice from the can keeping the slices in there.
Pour the jelly into the can on top of the pineapple.
Allow to set and then serve.

Many Asian supermarkets stock “accidently” vegan jelly – which use agar agar (seaweed powder) as a setting agent instead of gelatine.
If your pineapple can has a lip around the edge that would prevent the jelly from being removed easily use a similar shaped container instead.


Stuffed-Crust Pizza


MICKEY: Have you tried that new pizza place down Minto Road?
JACKIE: What’s it selling?
MICKEY: Pizza.
JACKIE: That’s nice. Do they deliver?


Pizza Dough

1 cup flour
1 teaspoon dry yeast
Pinch salt
¼ teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon olive oil
160ml warm water
vegan cheese grated

To make the dough, sift the flour into a large bowl
Add the remaining ingredients and mix with a wooden spoon until the dough resembles a wet ball (The dough will be wet and sticky).
Place the dough on a floured surface and knead for five minutes until smooth.
Place the dough into a bowl and cover with lightly greased cling film.
Leave the dough in a warm place for about 30 minutes.
Roll out the dough on a lightly floured surface to form a pizza shape.
Sprinkle the grated vegan cheese neatly about 1.5cm from the edge of the dough.
Fold the edges over top of the cheese and press to seal.
Top the dough with your favourite toppings and bake in oven.


Exploding Slitheen Edamame & Kale Soup


DOCTOR: Calcium phosphate. Organic calcium. Living calcium. Creatures made out of living calcium. What else? What else? Hyphenated surname. Yes! That narrows it down to one planet. Raxacoricofallapatorius!
MICKEY: Oh, yeah, great. We could write ’em a letter.
DOCTOR: Get into the kitchen!
JACKIE: My God, it’s going to rip us apart!
DOCTOR: Calcium, weakened by the compression field. Acetic acid. Vinegar!
HARRIET: Just like Hannibal!
DOCTOR: Just like Hannibal. Mickey, have you got any vinegar?
MICKEY: How should I know?
DOCTOR: It’s your kitchen.
ROSE: Cupboard by the sink, middle shelf.
JACKIE: Oh, give it here. What do you need?
DOCTOR: Anything with vinegar!
JACKIE: Gherkins. Yeah, pickled onions. Pickled eggs.
DOCTOR: And you kiss this man?


Exploding Slitheen Edamame & Kale Soup

350g soy beans (edamame)
1/3 cup cooked brown rice or freekeh
½ cup frozen peas
1 clove garlic
1heaped teaspoon vegetable stock powder
1 1/2 cups water
4 -5 leaves of kale chopped
spring onion

Boil edamame in their pods for about 4 minutes.
Drain, let cool, and then shell the beans.
(You should have about 1 cup of soybeans after shelling)
Thaw the peas in a little warm water.
Place the edamame, rice, peas, and garlic into a food processor and pulse until smooth.
Dissolve the vege stock in the a pot filled with 1 ½ cups water.
Set to boil and add the mixture from the food processor.
Add the chopped kale and simmer for 5 minutes.
Garnish soup with spring onion and mint.


Gaffabeque Noodle Salad


ANNE DROID: Rodrick, in history, who was the President of the Red Velvets?
RODRICK: Hoshbin Frane.
ANNE DROID: That is the correct answer. Rose, in food, the dish Gaffabeque originated on which planet?
ROSE: Er, is it Mars?
ANNIE DROID: No, the correct answer is Lucifer. Rodrick, which measurement of length is said to have been defined by the Emperor Jate as the distance from his nose to his fingertip?
RODRICK: Would that be a goffle?
ANNE DROID: No, the correct answer is a paab. Rose, in fashion, Stella Pok Baint is famous for what?
ROSE: Shoes.
ANNE DROID: No, the correct answer is hats.


Gaffabeque Noodle Salad

1 packet tofu
½ cup grated sweet potato
1 onion
¼ teaspoon ground black pepper
½ teaspoon sugar
¼ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon vegetable stock
½ teaspoon minced ginger
1 teaspoon vegetable stock
1 packed vermicelli rice noodles
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons sesame oil
1 cup finely sliced iceberg lettuce
1 small match-sticked cucumber
2 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
2 – 3 grated carrots
1 cup bean sprouts
2 finely sliced spring onion (white and green parts)
1 handful of vietnamese mint leaves
1 handful of thai basil leaves
1 handful of coriander leaves and stalks
2 small sliced fresh chilli
¼ cup roasted peanuts

Fry the tofu, sweet potatoes, and onions.
Drain the oil and sprinkle with pepper, sugar, salt, stock, and ginger.
Soak the noodles in boiled water with 1 teaspoon of vegetable stock until soft then drain.
Place the noodles in a large bowl and pour over sesame oil and soy sauce.
Layer the lettuce, cucumber, carrot, bean sprouts, spring onion, mint, basil, coriander, tofu, sweet potato, onion, chilli, and peanuts on top of the noodles to serve.


Banana Milkshake


FLORENCE: I must appear to be human.
DOCTOR: Well, you’re welcome to come home and meet the wife. She’d be honoured. We can have cake.
FLORENCE: Why should I have cake? I’ve got my little straw.
DOCTOR: Oh, that’s nice. Milkshake? I like banana.
FLORENCE: You’re quite the funny man. And yet, I think, laughing on purpose at the darkness. I think it’s time you found some peace. Steady him!
DOCTOR: What are you doing?
FLORENCE: I’m afraid this is going to hurt. But if it’s any consolation, the dead don’t tend to remember.


Banana Milkshake

½ cup raw cashews
1 cup water
3 small frozen bananas

Place all ingredients into a blender and blend until smooth. 🙂


Bad Wolf Biscuits


ROSE: I looked into the Tardis, and the Tardis looked into me.
DOCTOR: You looked into the Time Vortex. Rose, no one’s meant to see that.
EMPEROR: This is the Abomination!
DALEK: Exterminate!
ROSE: I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words, I scatter them in time and space. A message to lead myself here.
DOCTOR: Rose, you’ve got to stop this. You’ve got to stop this now. You’ve got the entire vortex running through your head. You’re going to burn.
ROSE: I want you safe. My Doctor. Protected from the false god.
EMPEROR: You cannot hurt me. I am immortal.
ROSE: You are tiny. I can see the whole of time and space. Every single atom of your existence, and I divide them.
ROSE: Everything must come to dust. All things. Everything dies. The Time War ends.
EMPEROR: I will not die. I cannot die!
DOCTOR: Rose, you’ve done it. Now stop. Just let go.
ROSE: How can I let go of this? I bring life.
DOCTOR: But this is wrong! You can’t control life and death.
ROSE: But I can. The sun and the moon, the day and night. But why do they hurt?
DOCTOR: The power’s going to kill you and it’s my fault.
ROSE: I can see everything. All that is, all that was, all that ever could be.
DOCTOR: That’s what I see. All the time. And doesn’t it drive you mad?
ROSE: My head.
DOCTOR: Come here.
ROSE: It’s killing me
DOCTOR: I think you need a Doctor.


Bad Wolf Biscuits

2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon salt
1 cup peanut butter
½ cup raw sugar
½ cup brown sugar
2 tablespoon molasses
3 tablespoons vegan milk
170g dried cranberries
¼ cup water
2 tablespoons rose water
¼ cup vegan margarine

Sift flour, baking soda, and baking powder into a large bowl and add the salt.
In another bowl beat together the peanut butter, sugars, molasses and milk and add the flour mixture in small batches.
In a pot heat the cranberries, water, rose water, and margarine until melted.
Add the mixture from the pot to the bowl and stir together to form dough.
Roll the dough into balls place on a baking tray and flatten.
Bake in preheated 180c oven for 18-22 minutes.




DOCTOR: Are we in Scotland?
REYNOLDS: How can you be ignorant of that?
DOCTOR: Oh, I’m, I’m dazed and confused. I’ve been chasing this, this wee naked child over hill and over dale. Isn’t that right, ya timorous beastie?



375g potatoes
200g cabbage
1 tablespoon vegan milk
2 tablespoons vegan margarine
Nutritional yeast flakes
Chopped fresh parsley

Peel, chop, and boil potatoes.
Slice cabbage finely and place in large bowl.
Add the milk, margarine, salt, pepper, yeast flakes, and parsley to the bowl.
Drain and mash the potatoes than add to bowl and stir to combine.
Place the mixture into an oven safe dish and sprinkle with yeast flakes.
Bake in preheated oven until top is golden and crisp.